In the vortex

I've been binge eating again
Trying not to think, just to fill
the hole inside me, that keeps burning
I Hope one day It will desapear
And I will feel whole, once more
Its been a long time since I felt that way

I will say No, to myself and I Will do It
Cause I know that I deserve much more
Than junk food, thats another kind of drug
It kills me from inside, ruining my Life
My self-esteem, the reason why I hate me
Cause Im not Who I want to be
And I try, but the problem with drugs is once you start is so hard to get out.

Almost 3 months have past since I overcome my trauma.
Almost 3 months have past and I still fall into eating like im still sick, still feeling like im dying, still inside the vortex and Im not able to get out, to free, my own Will, yo he able to day No Thanks I know what O want and how to do It and Im gonna do It whatever the cost is.

But right now I'm sitting down un my bed
Wandering when i Will decide to start,
To stop saying "one last time"
And keep going with the wrong stuff.

When I Will decide, that I've waited enough
Its my time, has arrived
I want to hit back and destroy my innerself
I want the strong me, the free Will
I want the savage woman i once was.